


Friends

by ToastedRoach



Series: Cold as the night [3]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, DIY dildo, Drug Addiction, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kellogg's memories in Nick's head, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Addiction, Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:19:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToastedRoach/pseuds/ToastedRoach
Summary: One day, a man appeared in the horizon. A mechanical man wearing a trenchcoat.--Honoring his promise to Nate, Nick Valentine comes searching for Kevin to bring him to Diamond City. Unwilling to leave his old lifestyle Kevin does his best to resist change, but after some time finds it nice and refreshing. With the help of friends he starts to heal and grow as a person.Third part of Cold as the night.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Life...happened and all writing got severely delayed. I don't have much time off, other than what I spend with my family and friends and studying, but since it's spring coming I might have enough energy to work on a few stories every now and then at the cost of reduced sleep.
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism welcome as always. Read the tags. :3

One day, a man appeared in the horizon. A mechanical man wearing a trenchcoat. His face was a mask of eroded plastic, his hands steel rods and wires, but he walked and talked like real man of flesh and bone. His lifeless yellow eyes were focused on Kevin and the closer the man came the more uncomfortable he got. He wished to retreat into the shadows of the diner but Wolfgang had made it clear his place was at the door – advertising the goods and inviting customers to take a closer look.

Simone was always near him in case there was trouble, and Wolfgang resided inside the diner or in the shack behind it. The nights Kevin spent with Wolfgang in his house. Simone slept in the shack. He had been here almost four months, trying to gather the caps needed to travel with a caravan. And it wasn't going as planned. Wolfgang let him stay in the house for free, and he got free meals, but the man took a share of his earnings and the chems weren't free either. Getting a discount didn't help much. So far he was lucky to break even. Jet was cheap and plentiful. His new love, Med-X, wasn't. Since the first night with Wolfgang he had been consumed by this craving. Sex was _so much better_ with Med-X. Sometimes he would ditch the caps his customers offered if they bought him the drug instead.

The summer afternoon was hot and wind blowed big dust clouds around. Kevin's good clothes had been ripped to shreds during his first week. He now wore the outfit Wolfgang had given him: t-shirt and slutty shorts. He was a product for sale after all.

Snuffles and whines of the molerats digging their nest in the ground nearby mixed with sand crunching under the feet of the approaching man. Simone stopped him before he reached the diner.

”You're not one of our regulars. What do you want?”

”I have a message for Nate's son. I was told he's here.”

”Sure, go ahead. But synths pay the full price just like everyone else. No tricks.” Simone tapped the pistol at her hip. She tried to act tough and failed.

”You're keeping him as a slave, then.” The synth's voice was even and without emotion. Simone freaked out at his words.

”Hey! Not like we force him! He came by one day asking for work. Not our fault _that's_ the only work he's good at! Too much Minutemen presence to make good money with chems, and the kid's still fresh and pretty.” There was jealousy in her voice and Kevin grinned. That's right, Wolfgang wanted him, not some old hag.

”I find it hard to believe Trudy would agree to this”, the man said.

”Oh, she didn't. But it doesn't matter. We killed her.”

A shadow appeared next to Kevin and a hand pushed him forward.

”You must be Nick Valentine”, Wolfgang purred. ”How nice to make your acquaintance. I'm afraid the chems we offer won't do much for you synths but maybe you want a little fun instead? Although you may want to purge your system afterwards. I don't know if synths can get sick but the kid sure does.”

He herded Kevin closer to the stranger. ”This good man walked all the way from Diamond City to see you. Show some respect.”

The synth's eyes grazed Kevin shortly before moving back to Wolfgang. Still no emotion, no recognition, nothing.

”I want to discuss Trudy first.”

Wolfgang bit his lip. ”Fine. But there's nothing to tell really. She didn't exactly give her blessing to Kev working here. And her young son might've picked up a chem habit. And it might've caused a teeny tiny gunfight. But we sorted it out, didn't we Kev? That's how it went. My boy shot her.” His voice trickled with pride and his hands had dropped down to Kevin's hips.

There was emotion now in those creepy synth eyes. Disbelief, with a good portion of righteous hatred. Sure, Trudy had been a woman just trying to make her living. She supplied passing Minutemen and kept the streets south of Concord clean of critters and other filth. She had also pointed a gun at Wolfgang with no reason and refused to pay what her son owed. Greedy, treacherous bitch.

”Yes I did”, Kevin said. ”She deserved it.” He leaned closer to Wolfgang curious about the synth's reaction.

The yellow eyes stared at him full of cold hate but Kevin wasn't afraid facing them. Wolfgang's hands lifted his shirt and stroked his tanned skin, played with the piercing in his navel.

”So. You got the information you wanted. How about you purchase something next?” Wolfgang kept fondling Kevin and his voice became a low, menacing growl. Simone took a step closer. The sign that the guest had overstayed his welcome. Their regular customers understood the subtle hints and didn't piss off their host. Nick Valentine was different. Most likely the synth was also immortal or some shit. How'd you kill a machine that didn't bleed?

”We trade”, the synth said. ”You are allowed to keep your business and your life. I take the kid.”

Wolfgang laughed at that. Hollow and nervous.

”Doesn't sound like a fair deal. Taking my source of income and driving away all my customers. What do you want with him anyway? I thought you synths don't have dicks.”

The stranger shrugged. ”The offer is open. You get to live and the Minutemen will allow you to keep this little chem business. I get the kid. Or we burn your shit down, you lose your life and I take the kid anyway.”

”Wait. Who is 'we'?”

”Oh. You don't need to worry about that, regardless of how this plays out. Think about it. I will wait.”

That smile just before the synth turned and walked over to the picnic tables. The moment when those yellow eyes became fierce with desire – real or an act – and the man bared his teeth in a feral grin. It stayed with Kevin. It confused and worried him. Wolfgang grumbled to himself and then spoke to Simone in a hushed voice.

Kevin knew what was coming. Nothing in life was steady. Nothing good lasted. He was starting to get used to it but it still hurt. He liked working here. Sleeping with Wolfgang every night, meeting a lot of nice guys who all wanted him.

Wolfgang came back and sighed when he saw the look in Kevin's eyes. ”Have a chat with him at least. He came to see you.”

”I don't wanna leave.” He sounded whiny and miserable and hated it.

”Hey! I'm losing my fucking income and barely get to keep the chem shop. You think I let you go because I want to? The Minutemen work for your dad. I knew that and still took you in.” He stepped closer and hugged Kevin. ”We had some good times baby. You can always come back and visit. Just don't let those filthy lawmen touch your sweet ass. I'll get your caps together and we'll say proper goodbyes later. I'm not sending you out there before you had a meal and some rest.” He gave Kevin a light kiss on the lips but pulled away too quick.

_You're the trouble no one wants. The synth will leave you too, just wait._

–

”Is this really the kind of life you want?” The dead yellow eyes peered at him from under the hat. ”Wouldn't you want to be loved by someone? This man just threw you away like a piece of garbage. You were nothing but a business opportunity to him. There's more to life than slavery.” Kevin didn't answer and the man continued: ”You're coming to Diamond City with me. Pack your belongings, we're leaving tomorrow morning.”

Kevin stayed quiet. Part of him wanted to fight but it would be of no use. He didn't understand dad's letter. Only the first line that said Shaun was dead. He stuffed the folded paper into his pocket. He didn't understand how dad could be dead. He had the letter. The news didn't make sense.

He reached for the Jet inhaler Simone had dropped off.

”Why are you taking that shit?”

A dumb question. ”Why not? Chems are good.” He took a hit and closed his eyes. Jet was good, but not as good as Med-X, and even that wasn't as good as getting high _and_ getting fucked by two cocks at the same time while Wolfgang pulled on the chain attached to his collar and gave him a deep kiss.

”If I was your owner I'd raise you properly. Teach you to be a _good boy_.” The words came from between clenched teeth.

Kevin opened one eye and stared at Valentine. There was that feral _want_ again. Like a spark of fire in the dark. But the synth's face had hidden it as soon as he looked. Was it real?

”Didn't you just buy me? You can do whatever the fuck you want.” Kevin emptied the Jet and threw the plastic tube away. Barely a rush at all. Was it a bad batch or did Valentine's presence mess with his senses, he didn't know. He scratched his arm and missed being high on Med-X. The collar felt heavy. He could now fit his whole hand between the metal ring and his neck, and one of the big raiders who visited him every week used to grab it and lift him up. He thought his body would break but he loved being used too much to ever complain.

”Heh. Just as much of a slut as your brother, aren't ya? Poor Nate. Had to watch _both_ his kids turn out that way.”

The one who spoke wasn't Valentine. Kevin snapped out of his fantasy. This time that voice was there, it was real, and he heard right.

”W-who are you?”

No answer. Just the cold stare.

Wolfgang came to the table with a small bag of caps and Kevin's heart sank. He knew he hadn't earned much but that was even less than he had imagined. He could never afford a place in a caravan this way. There was no other choice but to go with the synth.

The last night with Wolfgang was just like so many others before and yet Kevin found it hard to enjoy. Wolfgang's touch felt cold and rough, in a negative way. The man had already given him up. And there was the undeniable fact that Nick Valentine was watching them from the door. Wolfgang had told the him to sleep on the couch, or 'shut his power off or whatever them synths do', and Valentine had sat down in the hallway. For a while he went on whirring and buzzing. Then he was silent, only his eyes glinted in the dark and for the first time since forever Kevin felt ashamed to be watched. This man wasn't a horny raider or frustrated settler looking for a good time. His stare was emotionless and yet judging.

In a way he was like dad used to be long time ago. Kevin's memories had faded greatly since leaving his home at the raider camp but some things were clear as a day. Mum's sad eyes, dad's disapproving look. Sometimes, between horny daydreams and work and chems, he tried to imagine how his life would've been if dad paid more attention to him. If mum saw how Mr. Carter looked at him. If they had found the bloody underwear...

Wolfgang chuckled. ”Forget about it. The tinman ain't got feelings for you. And even if he did, he got no parts to please you. Now, work your magic kid. I wanna cum.”

Kevin's eyes jumped back to the man. Had he really been watching at Nick all this time?

”Aww, look at that pink face! Since when are you embarrassed to be watched?” He pinched Kevin's nipples and stroked his cock a few times. ”Yeah, that feels good alright. Keep squeezing with your ass. A pretty kid like you should be proud to show off.”

He used to be proud. Best whore in town, like some of the raiders said. He touched the collar and smiled.

–

” _Come on, take a bite. Try at least. It's fresh.”_

_Kevin glanced over. The meat looked so delicious. He had never been this hungry in his life. But the food could be poisoned, and he turned away hugging his knees. He heard the man get up and walk around the campfire. A tin plate with a couple of mutt chops was placed next to him. The man sighed and gently stroked Kevin's hair._

” _Please don't be afraid of me anymore. I did you a fucking favor! Sally would've killed you dead, like she did to the other slaves. And this... This is only for your own safety.” He yanked the chain, forced Kevin to look up. ”Stay with me and you'll be safe. I won't sell you, you don't have to do anything you don't like... Damn if you aren't the sweetest kid I've ever seen!”_

_Moon was hiding behind the walls of the burned down farmhouse. Ancient dried trees stood around the small camp and fire sparkles danced on the dark sky. The man laid down on his sleeping bag and Kevin dared to sneak a closer look._

_His name was Sid and he had joined the Blood Claws maybe a year earlier. Just before everything went to hell. Sid was still bruised and bloody when he came to see Kevin on his first night after the ritual combat. He was different from the others. The way he touched Kevin and how he talked about being together in some future so distant it couldn't exist. 'One day I'll have my own gang', he said. 'One day you'll be with me forever.' He'd come find Kevin during the day just to steal a kiss or whisper a few words of praise. Not filthy praise, the kind he got from other raiders. Sid's words were sweet and gentle._

_A strong, lean body, almost as tall as Bison Bill, warm tanned skin and the kind of smell that made Kevin want to stay close to the man always. Despite things turning sour with the Kill Claws, fights breaking out and Mercy pushing him around it was a happy time for Kevin. His steps were light and he always seemed to smile. Life seemed clear somehow. As if the future Sid spoke of would really exist._

_He reached for the plate and grabbed a piece of meat._

_The night when the camp burned and men ran around killing each other Sid came to the shack Kevin slept in. The guard at the door tried to stop him and Sid shot the man down. He pulled Kevin to his feet and his big gentle hands snapped a heavy slave collar around his neck._

–

All these ruins had something useful left. Even if he had to dig in to the rubble to find it. Sid had taught him so many things no one cared to teach a slave back home. He could hunt now, and prepare the meat. Not that he had really tried. He saw Nick in the distance, picking on a machine of sorts. In a place with radiation. Barrels, glowing stuff and car engines meant radiation. At least Nick cared enough to keep him safe from that.

Something stuck out of a pile of trash at his feet. He almost tripped on it, and wanted to kick it out of sudden anger, and then he looked closer. It was a red plastic handle of some prewar toy or tool. It had a wavy shape for secure grip and one end was slightly rounded. He picked it up. The handle had a hole and fine powdered rust fell out. Still smooth after two centuries buried in the ground, it felt like a weird shaped cock.

He looked around quick and ashamed but Nick was still doing whatever important thing he needed to do. Kevin crouched and ran a finger along the shaft of his find. It was perfect. He got hard thinking about how it'd feel inside of him. It wouldn't be the same as a real man but the craving to be filled and used was too much to bear. He had tried to reach the good spot with his fingers and only got more frustrated. Some Jet would've helped but after they left Drumlin Diner Nick had confiscated the chems he got from Wolfgang as a parting gift. 'I'll make sure you sober up', the synth had said, meaning that he no longer had another option than doing it the hard way.

The chems were one thing and yeah, it was kind of understandable. Nick had promised dad to protect him. But why not allow him to have sex anymore? They had seen a few traders along the way, a resting caravan and men who looked at Kevin that certain way. They wanted him and he wanted them, and when Valentine wrapped his wire fingers around Kevin's arm and dragged him away it _hurt_.

He stroked his new toy and then hid it into his bag, stood up and continued his aimless wandering unaware of the wet spot in front of his jeans.

–

Nick pointed at the mattress in the corner. ”You can sleep here. I'll stay outside and keep watch.”

”You never rest.” Kevin bit his lip right after the words came out. He hated sleeping alone so much. But admitting it was even worse.

”Do I look like someone who needs to rest?” The synth chuckled. The shadow passed across his pale eyes again and his voice became severe. ”Someone has to stand guard and as far as I can see you're not capable of that.”

Kevin quickly hid his injured arm. He could still hold a gun but the wound hurt more every day. He had thought he did alright traveling with Sid, and even after Sid was taken by the Gunners. Now he knew how lucky he had been with the raiders. They protected him and kept him safe. Sid was one of the best fighters in the camp. He had been so, so lucky. On the first few days of his travel with Nick they had been attacked by dogs and ghouls, then came the molerats and the trader who warned about super mutants ahead. Nick decided to avoid the road and after that they kept running into bugs, rats and roaches. A feral mongrel bit Kevin when they tried to sneak around a raider outpost and he took a large dose of rads swimming across the river last night. He was tired, hurt and miserable and hated every bit of his life.

After Nick left he sat down and tried to find a comfortable position. One more day of walking and they'd arrive at Diamond City. Kevin didn't want to go there. Not anywhere with lots of people. He'd be much better off with Wolfgang.

Or not. Not really. As much as he hated being sober it helped him understand the man had only used him to make money. Nick was right in one thing. Maybe he was right in more things?

He wrapped the sleeping bag around his shoulders. He needed Med-X, badly. The rush. The relief of all pain and anxiety. So much freedom packed into one small syringe. He'd do anything to get some. No matter how evil or sick or depraved. The Blood Claws didn't use as much chems as Commonwealth raiders. Sid never touched them and Bison Bill only took the occasional Buffout. Kevin wondered if they would let him use chems. He was no ordinary slave after all.

There was that sparkle of lust again. Maybe he could find someone in Diamond City. A place like that must have lonely, needy men just like Sanctuary. Staying there a while could be fun. He might even earn enough caps to travel to Nuka World before winter. He started absently rubbing his cock through the worn jeans. He did it just the way Sid had taught him, although it never felt as good.

Nick would not come up here until the morning. If he stayed real quiet... He had done it before countless times. He had even walked around a whole day with the plastic thing stuck in his ass, feeling it grind against the good spot with every step. Nick had probably noticed him playing with himself anyway. Synths had no feelings of lust or love or hate. Why should he care what they thought about? They were just machines.

Machines that spoke with two voices and told him things about his brother he didn't want to know. Machines with cold hands.

He let out a muffled gasp and bucked his hips forward. He wanted to be seen so bad. If Nick walked in right now...

The red plastic handle was in the side pocket of his bag with a bottle of cooking oil. Easy to reach. Kevin struggled out of his jeans and spread his legs wide. He was facing the door. Thinking about someone walking in made his cock jump again. The piece of plastic slipped inside of him with ease. He closed his eyes tight and imagined Nick walking up the creaky steps of the old watchtower. The synth would step in any moment. He pulled the plastic toy out and pushed it back in faster. The wavy pattern felt amazing going in and out and he shivered when it hit the right spot. In his fantasy Nick rose the final steps and came in, stopped and watched with the dark evil smile on his lips.

Kevin didn't hold back his moans anymore. Nick heard him for sure, and the thought made him spurt out more cum. Nick should know. From now on he'd keep his toy stuffed up his ass every day.

–

”Work, huh? Well I imagine there's something available at Diamond City. Someone needs help running errands or there might be stuff that requires repairs. We can ask around.”

”How about the work I did at Drumlin? It's a big city, right? Lots of people who need to relax and have some fun.” Kevin saw Nicks eyes narrow. The synths gaze was icy through the campfire.

”A nice looking boy like you shouldn't be selling his body for living.”

”Why?” Kevin stared back. Why would some tinman care? Why did everyone have to ask? Sex was fun, that was all. No deeper reason needed.

”That's not what young boys in the Commonwealth do. There's so much more-”

”Chasing after girls? Reading comics? Helping mommy and daddy at the farm?” He put as much contempt into his voice as he could. ”That's dumb.”

Nick didn't answer and Kevin continued.

”Why am I here anyway? You want a show? A little fun, all for yourself?” He had to try. Maybe synths did have emotions, and if being nice didn't wake any then maybe he could get some other kind of a reaction. Kevin pulled his shirt up and stroked his ribs. He loved being skinny. Men noticed and wanted him. He was satisfied to see that Nick was actually watching this time. He moved to his jeans. A little nudge and his hip bones were showing. He rolled on his side to run a few fingers over his ass and that's when Nick had had enough.

”Stop it. Right now.”

Kevin sneered. ”You're not my daddy.”

”No. But I know what you did to him and if you have any respect of that man's memory you stop behaving like a damn whore and fix that attitude.”

Nick didn't have to stand up or move a finger. Kevin curled into a moping ball, still half naked but no word came out of him the rest of the night.

He didn't sleep though. All the time he could hear the clicking sound of Nick running a diagnostic, the bushes around them rustle and the wind cry in the trees. And yes, the voices came. Hissing, whispering. At first there were no clear words but when the first rays of sun colored the clouds pink he heard dad's voice.

” _When did my good boy turn to this?”_

–

He walked behind Valentine, hanging his head, fighting to stay upright. The world was spinning and the voices gave him no peace. The chatter harassed him day and night. His insides were a tight painful knot from lack of food. He vomited everything he tried to eat. Part of it came from rads, part from the spreading infection on his arm.

” _The kid is useless! Go fetch me another one. And make sure he can give me what I want or heads are gonna start rolling!” Ricca's mean voice followed them out of the shack. Clay dragged Kevin from one arm. In the stairs he fell. Clay pushed him down and kicked him in the ribs._

” _You just_ had _to make her mad, didn't you? Little shit. I don't get why everyone likes you so much. What use does a weak boy have if he can't even please the boss? All you needed to do was get that tiny dick up and fuck her. You owe her your worthless life. Show some fucking respect!” Another hard kick made Kevin black out for a short moment. Clay spit on him. Dark slime that stuck in his hair. The tall man stood above him, looking down disgusted. A foot was raised and pressed on Kevin's head, dirty boot grinding it against the floor planks. Clay laughed when Kevin let out a whimper of pain._

” _You're nothing. You'll be dead in one or two years unless you wise up quick and do as you're told. Next time you won't disappoint her. Is that clear?”_

_He got hard instantly when men touched him. But the things Ricca wanted him to do were too nasty. The raider boss sat naked on a ruined couch and played with the chains hanging from her nipples. Clay undressed Kevin and pushed him on his knees in front of Ricca. Her eyes glowed with lust and greed when she saw the scared boy and she spread her legs. ”Here, kitty kitty. Make mommy feel good. Be a nice boy and you get a treat.”_

_She bent forward and pulled Kevin's head against those big, firm boobs with traces of mud and blood on them. Ricca was strong and any resistance was met with crushing force. Her split tongue licked Kevin's ear when she told him what he was supposed to do._

_He did try. Tears ran down his cheeks. He couldn't get hard, not even with Ricca doing all the work with her mouth, and she pushed him away annoyed._

_He got hard instantly when Bison Bill showed up at the weapon dealer's shack rubbing his bulge. His knees got weak from the way the man beast smiled. He ran from the back room eager to please any customer, he loved to be choked with thick smelly cocks and he never got enough of having his ass filled with cum. He always wanted more of it. More men. They told him he was better than a woman and they brought him presents. It was love. But one mean word from Ricca or her sisters and Kevin's world came crashing down._

He lost focus. His feet went numb. The ground disappeared and he fell forward.

” _What was that? You can put your lips on a man's hole and clean him up with your tongue but you can't touch a woman? Shame you were born with a dick.” The words spoken with the same mouth that kissed him a few drinks later. The same hand that punched him rubbed and squeezed his ass when the man got drunk enough._

There was always someone like Clay. They'd bully and berate him during the day but sneak to the slave shack at night. He made them growl with pleasure when they fucked him. They were addicted to his ass but had to hide it from Ricca.

”I wanna go back home. Please let me go home. I don't wanna listen to you anymore.” Through the haze Kevin touched his collar. It was his treasure. Before he got it from Sid he had others, like the silver earrings he got from Clay. The tall raider had killed some farm girl for them. Then he came home and brought the earrings to Kevin as a sign of love. All the men back home loved and wanted him. No one had cared about him like that in his old life or when he was little. The time before Ripper Red bought him was colored with pain. Even the good things hurt. He was lucky to get private lessons for free and he tried his best to be brave. Never cry in front of his parents or teacher. Smile at things that were not funny. Stuff toilet paper into his underwear and walk upright no matter how much it hurt.

”Please Mr. Carter. I don't wanna learn anymore. It hurts. Can I go back to mommy and daddy now?”

Hands reached down and pulled him back to consciousness. He still couldn't see but he knew the hands belonged to Nick. They were made of metal and although cold and hard they also were gentle and caring.

”Hold still. You hit your head. I'll clean the wound but this might hurt.”

Kevin yelped when liquid was poured on his forehead. It burned worse than fire. Nick wrapped a makeshift bandage around his head and wiped the blood from his face. ”Better. For now. But you need to see a doctor, that was a hard fall. Did you stumble?”

”T-t-the v-voices...” He looked at Nick through a blur. His heart skipped a beat when he realized he was crying. Panic choked him, made him gasp for air and thrash with his arms and legs to get up and run away. But he was held at the place firmly. Nick was right next to him and his body was pressed against the synth flesh, cold under Nick's clothing.

Kevin fought. He cried and fought but was not released, and eventually started to calm down. There was no more energy to fuel the panic. In the end he was just hurting all over. Nick still held him, gently, like a father holding his child.

 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No pain, no gain.
> 
> Kevin is getting used to a different life but doesn't know to appreciate the good things until something bad happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not been able to even look at this story for ages and I'll be extremely busy for the rest of this year. I still wish to write more, always. Next chapter is relatively easy and I have lots of it done, but the last 2 are almost non-existent and I'm literally drowning in work and chores and preparations for spring. We'll see. Good news is that I have lots done of the last story of the series and it should be easier to write. Maybe. Ó_ò
> 
> Some tags added for future.

He didn't like this place. People stared at him. When he first arrived here with Nick the guards were hesitant to let them in, and even after a talk with mayor Geneva and settling into dad's old house some of the residents still gave him those disapproving looks he hated. Now more than ever since the voices became stronger every time he saw someone stare.

Was it all the collar's fault? He wore normal clothes, he kept his head down, he didn't try to seduce anyone. It was almost as if they _knew_. On most days he stayed in dad's house browsing through all the things dad had collected, read the prewar books although they were just some boring science stuff, or did chores. Nick was gone all day, in his office and working outside the city walls. When he came home in the evening Kevin had the house cleaned and a meal prepared. Neither of them liked this type of arrangement, not even for the time being. It was for the best though. Diamond City wasn't the kind of big and lively town he had hoped he could disappear in. People watched each other mistrustfully and newcomers were not welcome.

Today he had had to leave the house to buy food and water. He managed to get to Sheng Kawolski's purifier without seeing too many people, but on the way back he ran into a guard and two women. He realised too late he had been staring at the guard the whole time it took until they passed each other. He pleasured himself every night but somehow it wasn't enough. Since coming to town he had been craving for sex even more than usually. Maybe it was quitting the chems that made those feelings burn hotter. His dick got hard from the sight of the guard. Every move the man made was mesmerizing, stomping around with puffed chest like he did, showing off his authority and brand new laser rifle taken from a synth patrol. Kevin tried to spy the contents of the man's pants behind his armor. He thought he saw something and swallowed, and at that moment the guard stopped. He was staring right at Kevin.

”Keep those eyes on the road, kid, and your paws where I can see them. The only reason we allow scum like you in Diamond City is because Valentine made a deal with the mayor. Don't think that gives you the right to peddle your wares like you see fit.”

He walked past Kevin leaving his threat hanging in the air like a storm cloud.

So they did know. But how? Did someone tell them? Kevin wanted to hurry back home but his body was frozen with fear. With some effort he made it to Choice Chops and Polly sold him brahmin steaks. She was always friendly and gave Kevin a discount. She had warned him of the more hostile citizens, or just told him to go home if something was about to happen. This time she gave Kevin a free Nuka Cola and asked him to visit Solomon.

”He needs someone to bring him plants for making Radaway. They grow not far from here and the pay is good. Getting out of town could help you feel better.” She smiled and put the steaks wrapped in paper in Kevin's bag. And so he turned the corner and stopped in front of Chem-I-Care, the place Nick wanted him to avoid. Seeing all the chems Solomon had for sale would be too much of a temptation. The synth was right. The only reason Kevin stayed sober was the lack of chems and people using them in his surroundings.

But now he was here and from the big smile on Solomon's grumpy face he knew he should've come by earlier. The merchant was happy to see Kevin, so happy he might've hugged the boy if they hadn't been standing at the market in the middle of the day.

”Polly told you to come? Bless her! I've been waiting to see you ever since Nick brought you in town. Your dad is a big hero around here. It's a shame some people here have no respect and treat you poorly. Not all of us are like that. Polly, me, the Bobrov's, our Miss Edna too - we like you and if there's anything you need, or just wanna talk, come see us.”

Kevin looked around in the tiny shop. The shelves had boxes of meds and chems and there were some on display: Stimpaks, Psycho, Jet. He swallowed again. He had quit with the chems for Nick, but the voices were bad and he really needed the relief. ”Y-you need plants, r-right?”

”Mutated fern to be exact. I'd usually pay 125 caps but let's make it 200 just for you. All I need are the flowers so don't bother cutting off the leaves. I think Vadim may wanna go with you. He's been looking for an excuse to take time off and Nick's always busy, wouldn't be right to ask him.” Solomon looked at him the same way than Wolfgang when the man was about to offer him Jet. And sure enough he pointed at the chem boxes and asked: ”If you need something from my shop just ask. It's free of charge for you.”

”I can pay too.” He still had some caps left over from the shopping. ”Do you have Med-X?”

”Anything you need. I don't leave the good stuff laying around.” Solomon reached for a box behind him and pulled out a couple doses of Med-X. Kevin had picked up some Jet and hid them all in his bag before the people walking by could notice. Solomon patted his head.

”Use them with moderation, kid. And stay safe.”

–

Days passed. Vadim didn't get a day off, Nick left to find some runaway girl. Kevin explored dad's house. Beside all the books and science stuff and useless trinkets there were hidden treasures even a raider kid could appreciate. That's what some of the residents called him. 'Raider kid'. He heard them talk outside, he heard the comments to Nick and every evening when Mayor Geneva came to the noodle stand there were people asking her to get rid of Kevin. She told them off politely, sometimes with a hidden insult those poor idiots didn't understand. She never forgot to mention ”the general” and why people of Diamond City were safe, but her words seemed hollow nevertheless. Nick had the guts to ignore the nasty talk but it must've been taking it's toll on others.

If the city had at least had a backdoor, a secret hole he could use to slip out sometimes and see what was going on outside of the depressing green walls. He got better in avoiding the guards while doing his chores but the excitement of finding loopholes in their patrols wore off quickly. Dad's house had a nice big roof with a makeshift patio. Chairs and a table, cover from the midday sun. Even a tub. Nick was surprised to see it too. 'Maybe your dad liked to bath outside', the synth said. They checked the view but who'd want to watch the stupid market while taking a bath? All you could really see was the corner with Fallon's, a little bit of the noodle stand and Moe Cronin haggling with whoever passed by.

Kevin felt uncomfortable thinking about dad taking his baths up here. He avoided the tub but liked to lay on his belly and watch people without being seen. The roof was cool here in the shadow. He huffed some Jet and let his mind wander.

With time he got bolder, leaned on his elbows and even waved at the people he knew. Solomon always waved back. John, the hairdresser, made gestures to cut his hair. Maybe he should go sometime. He never knew what to do with his hair. After a bath he dried it with a towel like he had learned to do in Sanctuary, but combing was annoying and painful. His hair was getting long now, hanging to his face and sticking to his eyes. He looked like a sad puppy, or a slave kid. With a different haircut people might see him differently. And he knew exactly what kind of haircut he wanted, too. Explaining it to John could be hard but dad had an entire collection of barber magazines stacked in a shelf downstairs.

Solomon came over one late afternoon. It was nice to have guests and Solomon seemed happy with whatever food Kevin had. They chatted, Solomon shared his thoughts about other Diamond City residents, his frustration. Not often could he talk so freely or without fear being reported to the guards. The Institute was gone but the city was far from being free. Kevin listened, soaking in every bit of information. He wasn't too happy about the turn his life had taken but from what he could make out it had been so much worse.  
  
”How about we take a little walk outside?” Solomon said after a while. ”There's a man who can tell you about Diamond City history. Most newcomers get caught by those engaging stories Moe Cronin likes to spin but there's more to this place.”  
  
”It used to be a stadium”, Kevin said. ”We came here once to watch a game.”  
  
”Hmm, so you already know a little bit. But do you know the story of how super mutants tried to break through the wall? Or the one about how the gate got jammed by a stray bullet and a whole pack of feral ghouls got inside? Abbot can tell you all those. Come on, he's out in the back field. He'll be glad to meet you.”  
  
The sun was setting when they walked down the alleyway, past Nick's office and out in the open mutfruit field. Broken windows and Sheng's pond shone golden and the green wall had a soft glow to it, one that woke strange emotions. Coming here almost felt like coming home, though it made no sense.  
  
Solomon kept chatting leisurely and made a wide berth around any guards. Not many were around and residents were still at the market. Closing their businesses, gathering at the noodle shop. Their routine never changed.  
  
The man picked a couple of mutfruits and slipped one of them to Kevin.  
  
"They make such a big deal of stealing them but here's enough for everyone. Bigots. 6 caps a piece is the real crime here."  
  
They approached the wall and Kevin saw an old man in the process of removing flaking paint and adding fresh one over the worn out spots. His can of green paint was almost empty and he limped bad. Solomon called out to him and the man's wrinkled face lit up.  
  
Abbot greeted them with a smile and took the offered mutfruit, although not without a complaint about young people stealing from the already meager amount of fresh supplies. It wasn't directed to Kevin though, and Solomon sitting on the fence right next to him munching on his juicy purple fruit was reassuring. Abbot's history lesson was more fun than he had expected. His favorite was the story about covering a hole in the wall - with a shelf. The sky turned dark and the first stars appeared. Abbot started to usher them to go home.  
  
”Would you do an old man a favor?” He asked Kevin. ”My legs ain't what they used to be and I'm running out of paint. There's only one place left in the entire Commonwealth that has it. Hardware Town, right outside Diamond City. It shouldn't have anything worth scavenging left and no big threats unless you're scared of a couple of roaches. There's caps in it for you.”  
  
It sounded easy enough. Paint retrieval. Roaches. He could handle it no problem. He said yes, surprised how eager and happy his voice was. But it had been a good day.  
  
Solomon walked him home and gave some advice for the job. Abbot would be devastated if anything but green touched his precious wall. Some kid had pranked him before, painted some of it yellow and claimed it was green and the old man nearly collapsed trying to catch the prankster. Then there was a woman who brought him a can of delicate rose red paint. She was color blind, the poor thing.

–

An easy run, fetch the paint, kill a few roaches... He left after breakfast the next day wearing some makeshift armor he found in the house. He had Sid's gun and some bobby pins, even a Stimpak. He felt brave and free, good about himself after days of misery. The day was sunny and warm and he found Hardware Town easily.

But then he saw the woman. Crying to lure adventurers and merchants into the building. A simple trick. A raider trick.  
  
He could've turned around, lied to Abbot, kept his promise to Nick. A promise he hadn't really given. He hadn't stopped wanting to find his family. For now it was better to stay put and listen to the old synth but there was still this stubborn hope that the Commonwealth raiders would accept him as one of them. That maybe somehow members of the Blood Claws had found their way here and would welcome him home. Deep down he knew it was just an empty dream and he'd only feel shittier if he walked into that building. But he'd do it anyway. He'd pay for his can of paint with the only currency he had - his body.  
  
They kicked him out of the back door several hours later. A few men stood outside, they laughed, made fun of him, spit on him. One of them cut his mark on Kevin's arm with a rusty machete. It looked like just another scratch from a fight. He had made up a story about mole rats. It would explain the blood and injuries and nobody needed to see him naked anyway. He dragged his two cans of paint to the field outside of town and emptied his gun into the body of a rotting brahmin.

This wasn't an act of love. Had never been. His family had lied to him and maybe he knew it all along. The worst of all was that he still enjoyed it. He begged for every bruise. His dick was already hard when he entered the building and he came without touching it, twice.

It was soon dark, the sun had dropped below horizon. Had Sid lied too? Why? The man's cool fingers on his bruised neck didn't feel like a lie. Sid took care of him, taught him how to survive, allowed himself be captured by Gunners so that Kevin could escape. If he thought about it, he couldn't understand why Red and Bison Bill would've lied either. They were born into raider gangs, they were simple and honest men. It felt awful to think of them as stupid, but after spending time with Sid Kevin knew the difference between normal and smart people. Lot of the Minutemen were smart too and he hated them for that. He hated Preston Garvey for so easily seeing through him and exposing him as the scum he was. This entire year had been a disaster. For a brief moment he recalled his time with Wolfgang and his tears were replaced with anger. Cheating bastard. He had earned the man a ton of caps and barely got a handful himself.  
  
Danny Sullivan was waiting for him at the gate, seemingly impressed.  
  
”I keep telling them, that place is infested. Empty buildings attract a lot of critters. I'm glad to see you're safe. Some people, not me, but some people were betting against your return. Here, let me help carry that paint. And maybe you should pay Dr. Sun a visit.”  
  
”It looks worse than it is”, Kevin smiled. ”I can still walk, right? And someone had to go get the paint eventually. Better it's me who gets hurt than one of the guards... I mean, you guys protect the city and it's hard to protect anything with bandages and broken limbs. And I've been feeling kinda useless too...”  
  
”Sturdier than you look, eh? That's good. Maybe you fit in here just fine.”

They brought the paint to Abbot and Sullivan kept telling stories of how Kevin's dad saved his life. He was probably exaggerating but Kevin didn't mind. At least one guard was friendly to him. Sullivan seemed to be getting the most boring jobs for some reason. Always at the gate or in the left field. Maybe it had to do with taking two shots in the belly in the big fight to free Diamond City from the synth infestation. The meeting with Abbot was nice. It felt good to see the old man so happy. Kevin earned himself a bonus for bringing two cans and Abbot gave him a couple of mutfruits. Sullivan stayed with Abbot when Kevin went home.

The streets were pretty with all the lanterns and candles, and the fires in the market reminded him of good things. This place wasn't as bad as he had thought. But as soon as he walked into his home the darkness and voices surrounded him. Being with people was fine. He wished he could go back out and talk to someone. He couldn't stand being alone with the voices, he just wanted them gone. Anything to make them gone.

–

Kevin laid on his bed, drifting into the haze of Med-X. He watched the wooden planks above – the staircase platform where his dad had slept. The old bed was still there, the desk with the terminal he had no password to and all the books and toys and magazines, neatly stacked on the shelves and side tables. Kevin's bed was right next to the door in the workshop area. The place was cool enough and he could hear if someone approached the house.

Everything was silent now. The drug kept all noises far enough for him to rest. He rolled onto his side and the syringe fell to the floor. He always forgot to put them away. It was only a matter of time before Nick would find out he did it again. But at the moment he didn't care. All he wanted was a little peace and quiet. To relax and feel good. To dream.

Their faces swam into his mind, their smiles, their hands that reached out to touch him. No longer were there only the raiders from his past: he saw Sturges and Jun too, Wolfgang and his buddies, Solomon and Diamond city guards. Sometimes even Nick. They were always with Kevin and all he needed was some Jet or Med-X to meet them. If he rode the high long enough he could even talk to them. It had it's downsides though. Often he heard dad's voice and footsteps inside the house, and he heard Preston yelling and it scared him.

He called Sid's name softly. No answer. He opened his mouth to call again when there was a knock at the door. Kevin froze, unable to move or say anything.

”You there, Kev? Can I come in?” It was Vadim. Vadim was nice to him but also made Kevin feel uncomfortable. Vadim's unshakeable confidence, rugged looks and smile got Kevin aroused every time he even thought about the man. He tried to stand up but failed.

”I'm coming in”, Vadim said and opened the door, peeking curiously inside. ”What are you- Oh.” He noticed the empty syringe on the floor and fell silent.

”P-please don't tell Nick”, Kevin slurred, still trying to get to his feet. Vadim came in just in time to catch Kevin before he fell on his knees.

The smell of raw moonshine filled the air.

Vadim sat him on the bed and Kevin slumped on his back, unable to stay upright. Vadim's hand rested on his knee and the man observed him closely. ”How about my brew next time? Bobrov's best, and you'll sleep like a baby. Guaranteed.”

”Whatever...” He wanted to laugh but only managed to get out a sad whimper. Vadim crouched to pick up the used syringe and also pulled several empty Jet inhalers from under the bed. ”Tt-the v-v-voices are just too bad. Jet makes t-them go away. And Med...X... I see everyone when I take M-mex. I j-just wanna see them again. C-can you hold me? Please?”

Vadim took him under his arm and held him tight. Kevin felt the man's heartbeat, slow, pacifying. Vadim breathed moonshine smell into his ear.

”I hear you fought some mole rat today. Good boy. You start with mole rat, one day, you can kill a mirelurk just like me.”

”It w-was full of raiders... The entire store, _full of raiders_...” Kevin started to sob. Vadim rubbed his back, up and down, quietly whispering nonsense to his ear. He didn't ask why Kevin went there anyway or why he lied.

”Let's go pick some fern once you're better. Nick is coming back tomorrow, so he looks after bar, and maybe my stupid brother will finally do some real work too.” Vadim hugged him even tighter. ”You had a bad dream but now all is fine, malysh, I protect you.”

 


End file.
